DISPATCH DIARY

EDIBLE PANTIES

2008-04-06T04:53:00.000-07:00

Hi, sorry I have been off the radar lately, just been busy and lost interest for awhile. but had a funny call tonight where a guy calls and asks me if he left "something" in the cab. I asked him where we picked him up (so I could find it in my history calls) he says ummm downtown...Where? ummm at a store...What store?? ummm THE PORN STORE (her yells)

I ask again what store? He finally confesses "the porn store - ok? and I need my edible panties now!"

OK ---

Funny stuff...

2008-01-31T06:12:00.000-08:00

I "THINK" I LEFT MY WALLET IN THE CAB...

2008-01-13T05:45:00.000-08:00

We picked up a highly intoxicated guy tonight (it was a flag) he calls me at about 2:45am and tells me that he left his wallet in the cab and it had lots of cash and all of his credit cards in it...I told him that i was sorry for his loss. He asked me to get the driver on the radio so he could get it back. Well I knew the outcome of this conversation. At any rate, I got the driver on the horn and asked him if he had found any wallets, of course he had not. He did say however that the guy paid with a credit card and had his wallet when he got out of the cab. When customer called me back for the 30th time, I told him what the driver had told me. He just went off and said "so you guys give free rides?" no..."then how did I pay huh?" again, the driver says you paid with a card. "no I did not" OK well I will send yo a copy of the receipt..at any rate, when the driver finally was able to go over there, he pulled up into the driveway, and low and behold guess what was laying in the grass...yeah it was a wallet...

Alcohol creates such stupidity doesn't it? WOW

ONE DEAD NIGHT

2008-01-09T04:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight was hands down the slowest night since I've been dispatching (3 years), we had 18 cars on the road so that makes it even tougher. How does it work in other towns as far as leases etc.? My drivers pay a certain lease each night for a 12 hour shift. Is that how it is everywhere? Sorry if I sound naive...but just curious. I have heard that in some cities you lease a car for a week at a time. Anyway you can see how bored I am...

Nothing left to say...til we meet again -- peace

MONEY BEFORE SEX OR SEX BEFORE MONEY? THE BIG QUESTION -- WELL I GUESS IT DEPENDS ON WHEATHER YOU NEED A CAB OR NOT TO GET THERE...

2008-01-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

Guy calls in at around midnight and asks for a cab to come to a small town outside of my town (about 15 miles out) I tell him no problem but we have a $40.00 minimum. I ask where he is going exactly and he tells me. (It was about a $60 fare) He says no problem send the cab. I send my driver. Well she picks him up and they get to TOWN and he asks her if he can make a quick stop, she says no problem, its $30.00/hour wait time. They stop at one of the seediest Porn shops (no biggie, drivers use to that) in town and she waits for 15 - 20 minutes, he comes out with a big bag-o-goodies and they proceed to the destination. When they arrive the meter read $59.50, and he refuses to pay but $40.00, and tells her that's all he has and that the dispatcher told him that's what it would be...WRONG -- first of all the "dispatcher" (that's me) works for the drivers (that's how I see it anyway) and second of all, he should have thought about that before buying his sex stuff. Now I am not a judgemental person, no I am not, but hey come on, if you call a cab HAVE THE DOUGH DUDE!!! Rather than calling the POEleese and waiting for an hour for them to cite him for Theft of Services, she decides to just take the 40.00, have him black listed and head to another call that was holding. (good move) He calls me at about 5 am and asked for a cab back to little town Oregon, and, well, you can just imagine what my comment .....can't you???

POWER TO THE PEOPLE (who have money for their cabs)

The moral of the story is this -- IF YOUR GONNA PLAY YOU GOTTA PAY

NEW YEARS EVE AT A CAB COMPANY

2008-01-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

My Top Ten Calls of The Night

(It was really hard to choose)

10. Can we get 10 cabs at ------ street ? there are 10 of us (are you just dumb?)

9. Yeah how much to rent a cab for the night? We have at least $70.00... (are you just

(dumber)

8. Taxi? yeah I have a strange question, can you guys come to -------- bar, and pick up my

jacket and take it to my house? I'll pay whatever... (Yes you will)

7. Yeah taxi? we just got a taxi and I think we left something in the cab...can u have the

driver look for a money clip that has a 20 dollar gold piece on it with about 400.00 in

it? (are you super dumb?)

6. Can you tell me if you picked up my wife at ----- ------- (bar) and where you took her?

and who she was with? a male or female? (yeah right!)

5. I just got a ride from Wal Mart to my house and I think I left my weed in the van (like - wow, what did you just say man?)

4. Yeah we just got a ride from ------ (a strip club) and your pervert driver told us

we could show him our tits and not have to pay for the ride? (pervert?)

3. I was told you were giving free rides tonight? ( yeah well I was told YOU were)

2. Hey OT, how much does it cost if someone "pukes" in the cab? (hundreds)

AND THE NUMBER ONE CALL OF THE NIGHT

1. Taxi? hey is it legal to have sex in the cab? tee hee giggle giggle (legal? you got cash?)

So there you have it, my top ten, there were soooo many more, too many to choose from

HAPPY 2008 TO ALL OF YOU DRIVERS OUT THERE IN THE TRENCHES TRYING TO EEK OUT A LIVING PICKING UP ALL THESE INTERESTING FOLKS

KUDOS!

TAXI CALLING ETIQUETTE

2007-12-30T04:40:00.000-08:00

What you should KNOW prior to calling a cab: (Ya Think?!)

A. Know that you MUST have money
B. Know where you are (your address,etc) then STAY there
C. Know your phone number
D. Know where you are going
E. Know your name
F. If you know A - D, E not necessary
G. If you have A, then D and E not necessary

Now Go Call A Cab!!

PEACE

The Calm Before the Storm

2007-12-29T04:40:00.001-08:00

Tonight was pretty quiet in the Duck Pond (Oregon Ducks? get it) anyway, I suppose that is due in part to post chrismess/pre new years evil, gear up. Well I personally am ready for normal to get back to abnormal. Way too many cabies on the road tonight, no one making any money, I am sure; But we all know that come Monday night, things in this town will explode. This is a college town and the kids LOVE their alcohol and Red Bull...thats scary huh? at any rate, they will be out in full force so I'm assuming the lul we are experiencing tonight is the calm before the storm.

GO DUCKS! (SUN BOWL BABY)

Chrismess (no its not a typo) is

2007-12-26T01:01:00.000-08:00

OVER!!! yay. Not to sound like a scrooge or anything but its a challenge dealing with either those folks who are extremely jubilant and elated this time of year, or those who are so depressed that it bleeds through the radio. I must be a good poker player cause i can read people well. I just cannot wait for Track Town USA to get back to its freaky little self. I can deal with that. The night owls are still out there hootin it up though, so its good for biz.

june in florida

2007-12-26T00:18:00.001-08:00

i cant access your blog for some reason?? HELP ME?

35 People died today in Iraq...

2007-12-25T06:35:00.000-08:00

It makes me so sad, and my heart hurts! I am so greatful for my freedom right now, and so embarressed by my (well our) so called Leaders ...

good night night owls
PEACE

Try that again...

2007-12-25T00:28:00.001-08:00

Christmas eve is really lonely here in the dispatch office...I am all alone and feeling kind of sad. No one wants a cab it seems. Drivers must really be suffering out there tonight. How is it in the cities? Probably not the same, probably lots of folks still millin around huh? Well I wish I had something more interesting to say tonight but nothing yet.. (the night is still young however)'

My heart goes out to the kids fighting for -- wow what are they fighting for over there??? Anyway my Christmas wish is for these wars to stop! Whats is it good for anyway? Absolutely nothing...PEACE

Christmas eve at Oregon

2007-12-25T00:23:00.000-08:00

Twas the weekend before Christmas and...

2007-12-22T05:33:00.001-08:00

all through the freaky little town , there were many naughty people wandering around, not knowing where they were or where they wanted to go, and expecting me and my drivers to know? Hey we're all professionals and are good at what we do, but some of theses donkys are just dumber than poo! I ask them "where are you" they pause for a minute, then say "Shit I dont know but i need a cab RIGHT NOW Damm it!" Hey Im pretty tolerant, and have tons of patience, but my drivers on the other hand they aint gonna take it...so if you need a cab you better know where you at, cause they dont have time to deal with all that. Better watch out you better stay out of the street, cause you just never know which driver you might meet. But hey, just relax, have another beer, cause we at OT we are all pros out here. We'll get ya if your nice and know where you're at, but I can't be responsible for anything other than that....

PEACE TO YA ALL AND TO ALL ...GO HOME!

2007-12-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

Me: Taxi
Girl: Oh, is this the taxi company
ME: Yes it is, do you need a cab
Girl: um just a minute..."Babe, do we need a taxi cab?"
Me: do you?
Girl: Yeah we do
Me: Where are you?
Girl: um we are at my house
Me: ok where is that? the address please
Girl: we are at .... um "babe, whats my address??
Me: heavy sigh...
Girl: I will havwe to call you back when I figure out what my address is (giggle giggle) I'm not use to giving out my own address bye!
Me: what?
click hang up

Why?? I dont understand why when you call for a cab you dont have the pick up address and a valid phone number ready to give the dispatcher.....call me crazy, but that is what I would assume you would know.....my bad for assuming jack.....

this job always amazes me

but I am a Peacful type, so Power to the Ignorant? I suppose

I LOVE SOME OF THESE DRIVERS

2007-12-12T01:00:00.000-08:00

DRIVER: xx (their driver number))
ME: Go ahead?
DRIVER: Just wanted to say hey - miss hearing your voice...
ME: AHHHHHHH

This job is all about the drivers - the rightous ones anyway...THANKS GUYS

BITCHY BITCHY DRUNK GIRLS

2007-12-09T01:41:00.000-08:00

ME: TAXI
BBDG: I NEED A CAB RIGHT NOW!
ME: OK, WELL WHERE ARE YOU
BBDG: HILTON
ME: ARE YOU PART OF THE xxxxxxxxPARTY?
BBDG: YES AND WE WANT A CAB RIGHT NOW, WE ARE CAREGIVERS AND NURSES
ME: WE HAVE 3 CALLS AHEAD OF YOU AT THAT LOCATION, SO BE PATIENT WE WILL BE RIGHT OVER
BBDG: I COULD CARE LESS
ME: ARENT YOU A CAREGIVER?
BBDG: YES, BUT I DONT CARE
ME: OH WELL THATS MESSED UP
BBGD: JUST GET THAT XXXXXXX CAB HERE
ME: HANG UP

I HOPE I NEVER HAVE HER AS MY CARE GIVER!!!

I GUESS I M STUPID CAUSE ...

2007-12-08T22:16:00.000-08:00

I CANT EVEN SPELL STUPID! (im sooooo tired)

DO PEOPLE REALLY THINK WE HAVE WINGS??

2007-12-08T06:26:00.001-08:00

ME: TAXI
LADY: I NEED A CAB THIS MORNING TO GO TO THE AMTRAK
ME: OK, WHEN CAN WE PICK YOU UP?
LADY: (CALLING AT 4:45) AT 5:15
ME: OK, WE ARE BOOKED SOLID AT THAT TIME, (INTERUPTION)
LADY: I NEED A CAB HERE IN 30 MIN.
ME: OK I WILL DO MY BEST
LADY: YOU WILL COME AND PICK ME UP YOURSELF IN YOUR PERSONAL CAR?
ME: UH NO MAAM
LADY: OH YES YOU WILL IF IM LATE I WILL HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE
ME: IM SORRY, BUT THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, DO YOU WANT A CAB AT 5:15 OR NOT
LADY: YES
ME: WE ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING ABOUT 5 - 7 MINUTES BEHIND SCHEDULE SO BE PATIENT, WE WILL GET YOU PICKED UP
LADY: YOU BETTER...
HANG UP

ARE PEOPLE SERIOUS WHEN THEY TALK LIKE THAT? MAKING DEMANDS LIKE ITS LIFE OF DEATH? JUST FOR THE RECORD, HER TRAIN WAS DEPARTING AT 5:30, SHE MADE THE RESERVATION FOR 5:15, I TOLD HER WE WERE RUNNING LATE...???ARE PEOPLE JUST FUCKING STUPID OR WHAT? MY WORD...I'M SO TIRED RIGHT NOW

2007-12-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

DISPATCHICK: TAXI
CUSTOMER: DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY PARTY CABS?
DISPATCHICK: UM IM NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN?
CUSTOMER: YA KNOW CABS WITH HOT GUYS AND CONDOMS?
DISPATCHICK: NOT YET

IS EVERYBODY JUST SUPID??

2007-12-07T06:37:00.000-08:00

DISPATCHICK: TAXI?
CUSTOMER: WHAT?
DISPATCHICK: TAXI SERVICE DO YOU NEED A CAB?
CUSTOMER: NO
DISPATCHICK: WHY DID YOU CALL A CAB COMPANY THEN?
CUSTOMER: WHAT?
DISPATCHICK: HANG UP -- WOW